Chapter 10: Sexting Texting

We have all made mistakes… of texting or ringing the guy who got our knickers in a twist and then never called back. To be honest, I have had some issues keeping the index and thumb off the touch-screen once my booze infused brain starts signaling my nether regions. My trigger happy fingers have all too often landed me in trouble when I have sent misspelt texts to some glorious man on how I yearn for him. The hunter-gatherer man, obviously, is turned off by this lack of chase and happily showcases such maudlin texts to his other friends as indicative of his desirability. 

So the time came for me to change my errant ways in the form of my Caucasian friend who had consumed enough self help date books to rattle off rules on ordering coffee, eating, dressing, barfing, evacuating bowels etc while with an eligible man. My learned friend also held court on communicating appropriately through calls, texts, emails, tweets, facebook and many myriad mediums with a date as well.

Her admonitions helpfully kept me off the phone and texting in dangerous times. This was put into practice by ignoring all phone calls during the workday (to let the man know that I had a busy job), ignoring calls during the evening (since I had a hectic social life), ignoring calls during the weekend (cmon, my friends and other dates are demanding my attention), ignoring texts for up to 48 hours min (all the above reasons of busy work life, social life and demanding friends implied), replying to emails after 72 hours min (cos emails from strangers end up in the junk mail which I do not bother checking).. basically making it so tough for the man to get in touch with me to make it a truly hunting and chasing experience worth his while and piquing his interest.

My predilection for verbosity has also translated into lengthy texts which shared a joke (showed my humorous side), a quick comment on some current event (showcases my intellect), an emotional occurrence (showed me to be feminine despite the enormous intellect).. basically was a novella in itself.

I have since been discouraged by Cosmo studies that show that men are incapable of reading more than 2 lines of text. In fact the 160 character service was invented keeping in mind this low threshold of attention that beset most men. Taking a cue from Cosmo, my texts are now direct and present a Call to Action. E.g. ‘I have an itch, would you like to scatch it?’; ‘Going commando; less work for you tonight” etc etc..

The impact of this new way of communication is still to be studied to be statistically significant. But suffice it to say, that the Call to Action is getting the men to respond. It’s another story that I may be pushing the wrong (or right?) buttons.